Hello, world. This is my very first blog as a Professional Writer. (See the caps, there? That means I’m super serial). As I devised plans for this blog’s takeover of the universe (or should we say, blogoverse, hardy har har), I struggled to think of the perfect opening post. And then it hit me: Top 99 Ways To Get Into A Woman’s Pants. Isn’t this the top question on every person’s minds under the age of fifty? Hell, what with these parachute pants on, I can’t even get into my own! Check back for a new tactic every week mixed in with the rest of the crap I do (short stories, articles, “comics,” advice), and shoot me some suggestions on more brilliant ways to get into a woman’s pants.